Quiz!!!

While I look down upon thee and ponder in wonder. . . . .

 Solve this mystery:  

Say swimming pool in arabic  !!!!!!

My Carbon Footprint

Good morning everybody.  How are you?  How is everything?  Are you feeling good? For some reason I am feeling very sprightly and cheerful.  Is that a good sign or a bad sign?  I am quite superstitious about these things you know.  When I am very cheerful I sometimes worry that something bad might happen.  Only sometimes. Mostly I just enjoy it.  Well I’m feeling cheerful this morning for some reason.  Maybe it’s  because I read in the newspaper about Ban Ki-moon calling for a clean energy revolution.  He was talking to THE PEOPLE.  Am I a ‘people?’  He didn’t say anything about not having feathers so I am assuming he was talking to me too.  Well that is exciting as I know now that I have a vocation as a provider of dung which is a renewable energy resource.  Well it is! Go to any village in rural Africa or the Subcontinent and you will find people using dung for their fires and for insulation. It is a renewable  energy source and so I thought I could do my bit and contribute a monthly ‘pile’ to the energy industry.  This way, I am reducing my Carbon Footprint (yes everybody, I am well versed with contemporary terminology.)  The exciting thing about all this is that the summit is being held in Abu Dhabi.  Why oh why is Kuwait now always the last in line when it comes to initiative and to developments.  Kuwait is in a fog and sometimes the fog clears and we get a little reaction: “Ooh! Light!” and then the fog settles in again.

Right, I’m off for breakfast now.

PS  picture coming later . . . .  internet probably all polluted . . . .

My Chateau

I have decided to buy a chateau! Why do I want a chateau I hear you ask. Well, yesterday, I was invited to lunch at the home of an illustrious personage and I just happened to meet a very nice person who proceeded to talk about buying property in a particular European country.   We chatted and this person mentioned that he had almost bought a property there but it was a little bit on the expensive side so as he was hesitating, it got snapped up by his good friend.   “A little bit pricey,” he repeated, “US Dollars 180 Million.”   I didn’t know what to say, I just stuttered and repeated his words, “ Just a little bit pricey.”

So, I have decided I want my own chateau.  Why should I sit on a miserable little ledge, on a miserable street in a miserable neighbourhood, in a miserable suburb? Why? Why? Why?   Then I had a little think about it.  Everything is relative in this world isn’t it? In the eyes of less fortunate birds, I am a very fortunate bird indeed.   I live on a nice warm ledge, in a nice, clean building, in a decent street, in a prosperous city so according to a poor little bird living on a rubbish dump in some slum in a poverty stricken country, I’m doing quite well for myself.   So I have to remind myself how fortunate I am and to think about what I HAVE rather than what I DO NOT HAVE.

There! That’s settled then.

Back to the Chateaux websites!

This is an example of my chateau -  It is the Pigeon House at Chateau Dree  (1620)

Riots are spreading

Such trouble in Tunis! Well it's about time too.  I always thought Tunis was one of the more democratic and liberal Arab countries and was quite surprised to find out that quite the opposite was true.  Show's how much us pigeons know about that part of the world.  As I said, it's about time and hopefully there will be other changes in the region.  But there is a hilarious side to this whole thing.  President Ghaddafi today congratulated the people of  Tunis and told them they should install a democracy like the Libyan one!!!  I almost fell off my perch with laughter.  And then I couldn't stop laughing when President Mubarak of Egypt congratulated the people of Tunisia and told them he supported them!!!!  Oh me, oh my, that is hilarious especially since he has been president since 1981 and he was Vice president for a few years before that.  Oh, this is so hysterically funny,  "two paragons of democracy" congratulating a people for getting rid of the corrupt, greedy, undemocratic, nepotistic presidents.  Anyway, I wonder what's next? Algeria?

My "pile"!!

The temperature has dropped and last night it was 2 C which is colder than London is at present although I did hear from my friends in Trafalgar Square that is was sopping wet and they were desperate for the rain to stop.  It was keeping away all the tourists.

I'm looking at all the students and staff arriving at the school across the road.  Some are in short sleeves, some dressed in normal and suitabl winter gear; jackets, cardigans or jumpers. And a small number dressed as though they were ready to brave a blizzard in Sapporro: Thick scarves, big woolly jackets, snow boots, ear mufflers. Come on!!!! But I'm a one to talk, I am huddled in the corner, shivering away, trying to keep out of the wind. Occasionally I sit on the "pile" as it is nice and warm and that's because.....not sure why really? Why is the "pile" warm. I must google that.

Well, I have googled 'Why is Dung Warm" and couldn't find a precise answer. But I must come to the conclusion that dung simply retains the heat it has gained from the sun and that it stores it nicely through the nice, releasing little quantities which keep me warm when I sit on the pile.

I did come across another interesting article though. The title of the article is The Bacillus Subtilis Story. Bacillus Subtilis is a bacterial micro-organism that can promote dramatic healing benefits in humans and was discovered by the Nazi German Medical Corps in 1941. Well it was identified by them. The way they discovered it was that they noticed that the Bedouin, although they, like everyone else, would get dysentery, would do something incredible. They would take some fresh dung from a horse or a camel, and swallow it!!!!! The dysentery would disappear overnight and apparently the bedouin have been doing this for hundreds of years, if not thousands. Oh and some Arab scientists will soon be experimenting on humans with camel urine to fight cancer!!!!!!

 

So there's a lesson in this to all of you out there! Stop glaring at me and laughing whenever you see me sitting on my "pile". So there!

My "Perch"!!!!!!!!!!

Damn! How I hate getting older. I woke up early this morning and practically had to use mountain climbing equipment to go to you know where.. to powder my nose so to speak.   The “pile” is getting very high and when I actually get to the top it’s quite a balancing act to keep there.  I hate getting old and also, I think I might have to build an extension.  My friends all told me when I moved into this perch that I should get a larger pad, a pad with at least two bathrooms, en-suite.  But I, in my eagerness and excitement, just snapped up the first place I saw as I thought the view was wonderful. Yes, the view IS wonderful, especially for the perverts across the road who are always spying on me.

I briefly read the newspaper this morning and there was a spread about the Referundum in Sudan and whether the country would split. It seems they will split from the Sudan. The West of course is very eager for the south to secede from the north and will provide all the support they possibly can and as they have been doing for the past 55 years; stoking the flames so to speak. They’re very ‘concerned’ about the human rights of the southerners. I wonder why they don’t have the same stance regarding Kashmir?

The rest of the paper was all about fat, well fed politicians and their goings-on.

And I said all that as I was perched on top of the pile, red faced in my efforts.  Not having much luck.

phewwwwwwwww

10:30 AM.    Phew! Relief!   The maid threw down the dishcloth and flew away!   What a relief.   Now I can relax.   A shame if it is actually an admirer and I lost an opportunity.   I'm not good in situations like that, you know, batting my eyelids, mincing around trying to attract attention.   No, I can come across as being quite gruff and aggressive to men.  Shame I couldn't do a little mincing around, a bit like Marilyn Monroe, you know, that sort of thing, all coy and sensuous.  Not me.  Oh well, on with life.  Shame about the maid though. It was good having someone pick up after me, tidy the pile.   These maids, it's always a love hate relationship with them.

A maid?????

I’m fully recovered today and I went for a nice fly around the area in the morning. That was fun.

And also, guess what everybody? I got myself a maid!!   Yippeee.   She is ensconced near the pile, cleaning.   I told her she was not allowed to remove the pile.   She could tidy up and dust around it so that I could collapse on it whenever the need arises.

8:20 AM I hate maids, she keeps trying to come and talk to me and I can’t be bothered.   8:45 AM, I am really annoyed as she keeps trying to peck the pile.   Pervert!

9:00 AM I’m furious now, the maid is USING my pile and feeding off it at the same time.   Mega pervert.

10 AM What is it with this maid?    She is now making herself comfortable around MY effing pile. Looks like she’s making herself at home.   This is getting suspicious.   You can never trust the help, really.

You know what?   This is getting really suspicious. I wonder if my maid is actually an imposter? Maybe an admirer of mine?   Trying to wheedle its way into the house.

I’m standing in the corner, trying to ignore the imposter pipsqueak.   I’m pretending I can’t see it. Is it the maid or is it an admirer? I don’t want to do anything rash and chase away a possible admirer, a woman needs a man in her life.   But if it’s the maid, I don’t want her getting funny ideas about me.   Oooh, look, the maid sat down.! This is impossible.   What shall I do?

But what if it’s a squatter? There are such things you know.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!

I’ve had an absolutely fantastic winter holiday, absolutely scintillating! I partied non-stop and I am happy to say that I was not in Kuwait where I would have been arrested as people are not allowed to go to parties here.  Now Nutella, spying as usual from across the road, took a picture of me which I am a little embarrassed to say shows me keeping warm on my ‘pile’. It is such a warm pile and I am feeling a bit frost bitten because of all the celebrating.  I ate mountains of food and have as a result gained tons of weight.  I also have a very ‘weak’ tummy which is another reason I am on the pile.  The nearer the better and I’m not moving until there is no possibility of an accident happening on the other side of the perch.

On top of that, I am bloated.  Bloated like a puffer fish. And do you know why? Well it’s a ladies thing, time of the month occurrence.  Very often, us LADIES bloat up, get pimples, feel tired, irritable and heavy and we absolutely HATE men.  Of course this always happens when  you are about to do something fun like go on holiday, to a nice party and such. This time I bloated up when I got to my nice ski resort, the Mzaar Intercontinental in Lebanon.  It was nice getting there but the hotel service was monstrous. Monstrous. First of all they tried to put me in a cupboard that they pretended was a room, then they said we couldn’t sit in the hotel lobby as they were having the New year party there (cost $250) and only people who have booked to attend the party can actually sit in what is supposed to be a public hotel lobby. Outrageous. I was so incensed that I went to my closet room, used the bathroom, hugely, then demanded a refund and left. They didn’t give me a refund of course, I just transferred the room to a desperate person outside.

Dubai was nice. I watched the fireworks at Burj Khalifa and they were spectacular. I wonder whether there were similar displays in Kuwait?  New Year. Such celebrations around the world, everywhere in the world except Kuwait. Someone please explain to me why no one is allowed to celebrate in Kuwait. I think Kuwait was emptied of people for the New Year anyway so hundreds of millions of dollars of money that could have been spent in Kuwait were spent in hotels, restaurants, and shops in other countries, contributing to their economies and sapping  the Kuwaiti economy.

I have already made plans for next year but they shall remain confidential for a while.

I hope you all had a fantastic New Year and that none of you were arrested.  I wish you all a very lucky 2011.

Back to sleep on the pile now.