Headline in the daily newspaper: “Missing Pigeon re-appears with Stomach problems"

  

Miss Mundy Pigeon, who normally lives in her little pad on the second floor of Dar Jehan, was reported  missing yesterday. A little crowd of nosy parkers gathered to watch her perch, with many exclamations of worry and dismay as the morning wore on. There was a general consensus that Miss Mundy had a) been kidnapped b) emigrated 3) found a nicer home.  Much to everyone’s relief however, Miss Mundy suddenly appeared at 11:30 AM. She landed abruptly in the ‘living room’ side of her perched and was seen to scurry, sideways, like a crab, very, very rapidly, to the loo pile. She quickly positioned herself over the loo and went about her business, changing position every so often.  After a good session on the pile, she staggered off and literally hobbled off the pile, limping with obvious exhaustion to the other side of the perch.

There was general relief in the crowd which then erupted into peals of laughter as Miss Mundy hobbled away from the pile!   "YAY MISS MUNDY! WE’RE GLAD YOU'RE BACK”.

Howls of laughter



Is she trying out for a part in ADDAMS FAMILY?



I was sitting on my perch yesterday, grooming myself like mad, fluffing my feathers, primping my fluff, smoothing myself down, cleaning and preening my head (no makeup of course, none of that horrible peacock stuff for me thank you very much, I am not a tart), when who should appear at the window, giggling hysterically as they are wont to do, peering in my direction as they did so but Nutella and Zoot, the bitches. I could hear them quite clearly, unbeknownst to them, as we birds have very acute hearing. I could hear things like “What on earth is SHE preening herself for? She hasn’t got a boyfriend OR a girlfriend?” and “Look at that head quivering away (howls of laughter), what does she think she’s doing?” They went on and on, asking themselves why I was alive? What my purpose in life is? What I could possibly contribute to this planet as all I ever do is sit on my perch and produce my pile? They even said that I was so useless that I didn’t even end up as someone’s pigeon pie with my sole purpose in life being to tingle somebody’s taste buds for a minute or two.

That got me thinking.  What IS my purpose in life? Why am I here? Just to live and die without making an impact on the universe? I am born, I live, I eat, I develop my pile, I get sick sometimes, I get better, I talk to others occasionally (contrary to what the freaks across the road think) and I have even had a fling or two. Yes, I do attract the occasional admirer as you may remember some time back with the sparrow incident. I am not a total waste of time am I.

But those two have spoilt my mood. I was quite happy going about my business, taking care of my appearance and just generally enjoying life when they rudely jolted me into “why am I here?” frame of mind. Why AM I here? Am I just a pretty face, to be admired by the occasional passerby? Am I just a bundle of flesh and feathers occupying space in this limitless universe? If the universe is limitless then isn’t my size relative anyway? I am as big as I want and as small as I want. If I suddenly invented something that was invaluable to the planet does that make my life more important than if I hadn’t invented anything? If I become a famous singer or actor am I more worthy than if I don’t? If I lie in bed all day long and do absolutely nothing, does that make me worse, in the end, than if I slave away as some endless task, day in, day out until I die. I don’t know. You tell me. Write me comments and tell me if my life is worthless or not!

Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

I am a connoisseur of beauty. I am not boasting or anything like that, it’s just a fact.  I appreciate beauty.  In the animal kingdom, it is generally known that males are more attractive than females. The male peacock is brilliantly coloured; greens, blues, turquoise and so on. Cockerels are more flamboyantly coloured than the rather mousey hen. Lions are definitely more striking than lionesses.  But with the human species, it is a little harder to tell. Generally, people think that women are more attractive than men and women make an effort to appear even more attractive than they think they are. They feel they have to plaster lipstick, foundation, powder, blusher, mascara, eyebrow plumper and so on and the result is a more defined and accentuated beauty. Or ugliness.  A lot of women cleverly plaster on tons of makeup but the final result looks like they have not put any on at all.  But not here in Kuwait.  In Kuwait there is a competition to see who can appear the most like a peacock (does that mean they are male? Drag queens?).  These ‘peacocks’ are so astonishing that I thought I had to share their art work with you.  To our eyes they seem very clownish or cyprian , but there is obviously a whole world out there which actually admires these human canvases. Today, my choice is the ‘Bawdy Human Peacock Woman.’ I hope you enjoy the picture.

On to other things now. I am posting this lovely photograph of me (you can see that in my case, the makeup is very understated and I have the most gorgeous eyes don’t you think?). I am standing there, cogitating and pondering of the miraculous pile I have succeeded in creating over time. The pyramids weren’t built in a day and neither was my pile. It has long been a mystery how the pyramids were actually constructed with some theorists actually suggesting that they were built by aliens from another universe. Mystery no more, the answer is obvious: pigeons.

I shall leave you with those words to stimulate your minds.

Hello !

You must all be wondering where I have been these past few weeks. Why hasn’t Miss Mundy Pigeon been writing her daily reports? Well I have but I used invisible script as I didn’t want just any Tom, Dick and Abdulla reading my profound insights into life.

I have been very busy this week as we have, in Kuwait, been very fortunate and privileged to host the famous Japanese drummer Shonosuke Okura who is the eldest son of the late 15th generation head of the Okura School, Chojuro Okura. (The Okura family legacy has been passed down since the Muromachi Period, as one of the Noh musical families in the field of Otsuzumi and Kotsuzumi Japanese drums). Mr Okura has been designated as an “ Important Intangible Cultural Property”.

The other night we took Mr Okura plus two other musicians with him to a nice new restaurant in Kuwait called Naranj which is a branch of the main restaurant in Damascus. We had a table outside and that particular evening the weather was lovely and perfect for the outdoors. The restaurant was busy and the staff very welcoming. Noodie Pigeon had recommended some dishes among them the  Beetroot Mutabbal (delicious), the Fattat Makdous (yummy little stuffed eggplants cooked in yoghurt), Cherry Kebab (meatballs cooked in a scrumptious cherry sauce) and the usual selection of Mezzeh. All excellent! I was disappointed that they didn’t have the Arabic Ice cream that was on the menu, they said it still hadn’t arrived from Syria which, considering the situation in Syria perhaps isn’t surprising.

They next day we attended their concert at the Maidan Theatre in Hawalli and Mr Okura performed outstandingly. He also performed a piece with Mr Tsunemi, the Japanese ‘Oud player who had studied in Tunis, and with Mr Ohno who was a flautist. Their piece was a blending of Japanese and Arabic music and I really liked it. It was like a blending of the abstract and the impressionistic if you get my gist. I know that sounds very airy fairy but I do have to try very hard as I am only a dumb pigeon and I have to impress you.

Yesterday I took them on a short tour of Kuwait City (nobody else seemed to be around) and then we headed to Le Notre for lunch and it was closed! As time was running out, we went to Nino which is another restaurant by the sea and that was pleasant. The food is good, portions are VERY generous (I only ate half of mine and took the rest home to my perch) and the selection broad. The only thing that annoys me about Nino is the ear blastingly loud music. It is always blaring away and when you ask them to turn it down they do, a little, then a few minutes later it is up again!!!!!! But the views across the sea to Salmiya more than make up for that.

As for my astounding insights into global politics, in case you have been asleep, there are revolutions going on in Libya, Syria and Yemen and Iran, the monster across the water, is shaking its ugly fist at the peace loving communities on this side of the Gulf. THE ARABIAN GULF and if the ugly monster doesn't like that well tough bloody titties !!!!!!!!!!

Happy happy