HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!

I’ve had an absolutely fantastic winter holiday, absolutely scintillating! I partied non-stop and I am happy to say that I was not in Kuwait where I would have been arrested as people are not allowed to go to parties here.  Now Nutella, spying as usual from across the road, took a picture of me which I am a little embarrassed to say shows me keeping warm on my ‘pile’. It is such a warm pile and I am feeling a bit frost bitten because of all the celebrating.  I ate mountains of food and have as a result gained tons of weight.  I also have a very ‘weak’ tummy which is another reason I am on the pile.  The nearer the better and I’m not moving until there is no possibility of an accident happening on the other side of the perch.

On top of that, I am bloated.  Bloated like a puffer fish. And do you know why? Well it’s a ladies thing, time of the month occurrence.  Very often, us LADIES bloat up, get pimples, feel tired, irritable and heavy and we absolutely HATE men.  Of course this always happens when  you are about to do something fun like go on holiday, to a nice party and such. This time I bloated up when I got to my nice ski resort, the Mzaar Intercontinental in Lebanon.  It was nice getting there but the hotel service was monstrous. Monstrous. First of all they tried to put me in a cupboard that they pretended was a room, then they said we couldn’t sit in the hotel lobby as they were having the New year party there (cost $250) and only people who have booked to attend the party can actually sit in what is supposed to be a public hotel lobby. Outrageous. I was so incensed that I went to my closet room, used the bathroom, hugely, then demanded a refund and left. They didn’t give me a refund of course, I just transferred the room to a desperate person outside.

Dubai was nice. I watched the fireworks at Burj Khalifa and they were spectacular. I wonder whether there were similar displays in Kuwait?  New Year. Such celebrations around the world, everywhere in the world except Kuwait. Someone please explain to me why no one is allowed to celebrate in Kuwait. I think Kuwait was emptied of people for the New Year anyway so hundreds of millions of dollars of money that could have been spent in Kuwait were spent in hotels, restaurants, and shops in other countries, contributing to their economies and sapping  the Kuwaiti economy.

I have already made plans for next year but they shall remain confidential for a while.

I hope you all had a fantastic New Year and that none of you were arrested.  I wish you all a very lucky 2011.

Back to sleep on the pile now.