I'm offfffffffffffffffff. . . . . . . .

Me, I’m just a little pigeon and I am sick of the state of affairs here.

I’ve been racking my little pigeon brain for ideas about improving this country. There are millions of things I can do of course but here is a list:

On second thoughts, I’m going to leave that till some other time. Let me tell you more exciting news first. I am off on holiday .  Pass over Muscat then  off to spain to do some cross country stuff.  I am getting away from all these horrible domesticated grey pigeons and will be free!!!! Free!

How I detest grey pigeons, they are always pooping all over the place, spitting all over the place, they make horrible body function noises as though it were normal, there break wind in public, they stand around staring at people and scratching their bits in  public, mouths open and tongues hanging out, they’re always milling around in big crowds, noisy, loud, smelly and rude.  I just detest these grey pigeons. They’re not like me; I only poop delicately over the ledge and intentionally when I want to bombard people.  I go into the corner to break wind and always make sure it’s not downwind.  I am not loud, I don’t hang around in big groups, I don’t spit, I don’t litter and I am just about the cutest thing ever seen north of the equator. And south. Me! I’m a golden brown pigeon, rare, attractive, small numbers, civilised, clever (well as clever as one can expect a dumb pigeon to be and everything else good you can think of.

So I’m off to a remote corner of Andalucia where I can be myself. Yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Tortillas and Rioja here I come!