Desert Camping Season

I, as a concerned citizen, have a complaint :  The desert is deteriorating because disorganised rabble are camping like savages all over the place.  I kindly request that you please, Mr Fatso, very kindly, nicely said, get off your huge fat ass (must be pimply and full of bu-zlaiqa) and so do something about this.

We know you have tried to diet and so you are just half a hippo and good for you because half a hippo is better than a full hippo (bet your wife doesn't agree as even half a hippo is a bit much) and that maybe being on a diet has distracted you ( hippos are usually distracted) but please do something.

We know that you are  really wrinkly and that you need a MEGA facelift and bumlift and that we can't see your features because they are dangling, and your bum reaches below the back of your knees, but please, do something.  PLEASE PLEASE.  The wrinkles might vanish.