fat, oversized, beautiful?

Chirpy chirpy cheep cheep.  That’s how I feel this morning.  And I think it must be because it’s the weekend!   Yipppeeeeeeee and COO! COO!

I went food hunting yesterday evening.  Down by Lulu. Me, Nutella and Rowella.  We are all planning to watch our weight as we have cellulite on our thighs and there are dimples on our butts.  We are following a points system so for example, a grain of rice is a point, a grain of wheat is a point, a MacDonalds grain is 100 points and so on.  I am allowed 20 points a day. Too bad yesterday I had 100.  I must get a grip and try to control myself.  I shall study the points while I am relaxing over the weekend.

Why is life so cruel? Why wasn’t I born Polynesian because in Polynesia, big is beautiful and the bigger my butt the more attractive I am.  Apparently the biggest woman on the island is the one chosen to be queen.  I read that somewhere so it must be true.  I am sure I could do quite well in a competition like that. . I hear Mauretania is the same although to be honest, I don’t think I fancy living there.  Give me Tahiti any day.